I want to tell the real story here of what writing a book is like or at least what my story is. There is a story in all of us that needs to be told and yet no one talks about the discipline, the reliving of certain moments of your past that feel like a mini re-traumatizing, the delays and the countless edits.  

There were so many times I wanted to give up (whhhewwwweee giving up is an understatement more like throwing my laptop out the window 7 floors below.) Five years ago I began writing this book with a well-known book agent. I just knew a large book deal was in the bag.

Let’s just say back then people weren’t into a collaborative book and so my proposal got turned down by Hay House and Harper Collins. Needless to say this goddess on the go had a lot going on 5 years ago and so I shelved the book not really telling anyone.

9 months later I found out I was pregnant with an Aries daughter who already started bossing me around in the belly. Her first clear message to me was to finish the book. REALLY? I thought REALLY during the time I’m supposed to slow down you want me to write a book. If you have an Aries in your life you know they do give great business advice and they are known for getting shit done!

So in no rushing form I began to write the book during slower times. I finished it December 30 2016 a few months before her 1st birthday. I had this brilliant idea that I would have it ready for the event I was speaking at. My book editor patiently reminded me that I was putting out my first book and I didn’t just want to put out anything.

As irritated as I was to have another delay I trusted her. So let me let you in on a little secret here. I ripped that book apart at least 10 times until I got to a point where I said “DO NOT SEND IT BACK.” The edits were like a spiritual experience for me. Each time I re-wrote a line or a paragraph I got clear on the message I felt was my truth. I was going through a program that was like spiritual surgery coinciding the edits and so the person who began writing this book was not the same person who completed this book.

The next hiccup was firing my book cover designer. I had never fired anyone before (and for a Libra with a Cancer rising Pisces rising, who is hyper aware of other peoples feelings I was scared to rock the boat.) Yet I couldn’t deny the knot in my belly and the loud messages I was receiving.

Luckily within 24 hours I was blessed to be introduced to a B O M B book cover designer who just got the vision I had and then ka-boom shabammm she took it to a whole other level.(THANK YOU LEANNA (WELLER SMITH DESIGNS)

From the edits to the designing the book was finally ready at the end of August 2018. One night we closed our eyes, blessed the book, and hit send through our self-publishing site Ingram Spark. Ingram had let us know that they could not promise an exact date of when the book would be officially up for people to purchase. Talk about a sacred surrender. My life became that during this book writing process.

The next morning I awoke to an email from Leanna that the book had been picked up by Barnes and Noble. Within the next few weeks we had launches with Rent The Runway, Caudalie, The Assemblage, Fashion Institute of Technology, Knockout LA, Island Spa Catalina, and Barnes and Noble.

As much as I wanted to say EFF IT I trusted that the messages in the book, the stories of women, the rituals needed to be heard. If you have a desire let go of the way it needs to look, the timeline you think it should be on and step into what is waiting on the other side.

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